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Is it right of the women to court? by: Maribeth Q. Galindo September 15, 2008

Posted by beth95 in current issues and historical facts.
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                         In the world where we live, everything is fast changing beliefs, traditions, laws, arts, norms and others. Sociologically, these changes are brought about by the new innovations, inventions, discoveries and diffusions thus, making people’s life more complicated.

                     

                    One of the big changes that took place was the manner on how women were treated. Culturally, women were/are not treated equally with man, thus women were/are considered an inferior being. As time gone by, these impressions towards women are slowly corrected through education and therefore increasing the level of awareness about women’s right happened. Equality of rights between men/women is recognized by laws. With these, there are women who claim that one of their rights that should be enjoyed is courting the man. Do you agree? Now, if you belong to a conservative culture and your orientation about courtship is somewhat limited no doubt! Your answer is a big NO.

                    

                         Apparently, women cannot do anything that she wants to do because she is bounded by the so ca culture. It’s the culture that tells what is good/bad, right/wrong, proper/improper, moral/immoral that put man/woman in a box that sets limit of what to do and not to do. Obviously, there is some culture that does not welcome courtship initiated by a woman. If a woman does it she will be labeled as flirt, cheap or negatively criticize. Women are discouraged to court the men simply because the culture says it.

                      

                         On the other hand, modern women took the challenge. They excel in the fields of politics, business, education, sports and others just named it and you’ll find them. Thus, believing that they can also court the man because they too are capable of expressing what they have felt. Why not? If they have the guts to do it but be reminded to face the consequence like you might be rejected, ignored, or insulted by the man that you courted especially if the man has a conservative outlook of what courtship means. Thus, women are ready to be basted because it is also the right of the man to refuse a woman if he feels so. Now, would it matter if the woman courts a man? Do we really have the right to court the man? If you believe that it is our right, can you exercise the said right? What can you say man?

 

Comments»

1. jovelyngozon - September 17, 2008

Many woman today are already excel in different fields.Thats why we treat now equal to the man.But we cant deny that there is things we cant do,so sometimes we are treated not equal.In our country we proud to say that woman are conservative though many of us adopt many culture that very dominant in our personality.Such as courting a man,for me its not new in me because I observe that.It does not wrong because it is one way of expressing our feelings towards man.And of course man also have a right to refused towards woman.If we continue hide our feelings we are the one who suffer.For me I want to express my feelings by courting a man.I think man can understand my feelings if he have a broaden mind or educated.

2. huevos - September 21, 2008

Speaking as a woman, it’s just alright for me if a girl will court a guy.When will women be even to men if in that simple situation, women don’t have the freedom of expression. It’s not that I’m liberated, but I guess it’s our right to express what we feel, and I guess it’s also our right to be with someone we really like. If incase they’ll reject us, that would be our problem. Maybe , it’s the time that we could experience what men have experienced when they are courting us.

3. ♥myKah♥ - September 22, 2008

Courting is somewhat exclusively a challenge to the guys before.Now its kinda different because even girls do the same.Well for me I stay prefer to be courted and not the one who will be initiating it.If i like the guy apparently courting is not in my head but giving a hint that I like him will do.Courting and giving a hint is different. Asking a guy if he wants to be your boyfriend is courting and on the other hand giving a hint is somewhat showing something not that very noticeable moves. And its still expressing what I feel yet in a Little decent way.
If you are labeled as cheap or whatever because of courting a guy then that’s the price you get. We already know our elders and most of us don’t accept that. Well i know that whats good to me might not be good to the others.

4. Arlene Joy Ga-as - September 23, 2008

“Is it right of the women to court?” – Well, for me, as women, it is not our right but, it is okay to show our like with a certain man. It is still the right of men to court and they must still have the first move but as women we also have the freedom to express our emotion why deprive it, as long as we know our limitations and that no one will be hurt by what we’ll act. In the heart of every woman, a deep longing continually cries out for one special man. A man who will share with her joys and disappointments, who will co-celebrate her triumphs, who will give comfort and encouragement in defeats but sometimes, the person we longed for, might not notice our existence our deep emotion for that man will exceed yet, his not interested so for him to detect our agitation, we’ll show our love for him by letting him know our like, but, of course attached to it, we must also anticipate and accept whatever the consequences because it might create gap between you and him in letting him know your emotions.

Our culture maybe conservative but when it comes to love culture don’t matter anymore; love conquers all. –When you’re a woman and you’ll show your emotion towards a certain guy transparently, people around might think negatively about you but keep in mind that there’s nothing wrong about it because you’re just showing your emotion (not courting) just showing your love. –It is still the right of men to court but women also have the right to show her emotion. –Arlene Joy

5. mayeth basinillo - September 23, 2008

my comment is that “yes the women have a right to court, as our generation today we used this word “practical”, and women must be practical to say whatever their hearts says to the someone she love,it doesnt mean that the girl is FLIRT, it means that she tell what she really feels because she doesnt want to keep it a secret or might be if she keep it she will be suffer more what ever be the result after its up to the boy to decide, because if the women remain silent she will be feel burden and nobody, and nothing can heal this except to say it proudly.

6. Anne Danielle Alfelor - September 23, 2008

I as a woman still believe that courtship remains the best way to prove to a girl that she is worth everything.

courting a man would only prove that you’re DESPERATE, UGLY AND CHEAP. i mean, why make the first move? can’t you wait for the time that some guy would ask you out? or maybe ask for your number and later on get to know each other? wouldn’t that be more exciting? whereas the freedom of showing emotion which the women nowadays is asking, it is absurd. going after a guy from time to time and suddenly tell him that you love him? and then what? you would take the risk if he considers your proposal or not? naaah, i don’t think so. I can hardly imagine myself spending money to buy gifts just to please a guy ( basically that’s what the boys do when courting a girl. however if you disagree with my statement then it only means that the one who used to court you is “kuripot”. a piece of advice, GIRL YOU DON’T DESERVE HIM. “,) or have the guts to tell a guy if he could be my man, that’s insane. I do think courting a guy can also be considered as a form of exploiting one’s self. yes, it is expressing your feelings but don’t you think that it is also showing to men that you are a typical easy-to-get girl since you are the one initiating yourself?.

It may also be the reason why women are treated differently. some guy finds it very annoying ( according to my guy friends i used to discuss this topic with.)
bottom line here is why not stick with the status quos? i mean if we are used with the system that the guy is the one who courts the girl then what is the problem with that? don’t you like the feeling when a guy does everything for you?… well, i do😉

AB-CA2

7. reyan bustillo - September 24, 2008

God created our world equally. meaning, men and women have equal rights. therefore, WOMEN HAS ALL THE RIGHT TO COURT A MAN! our world, nowadays, is alrerady and certainly not a MAN’s world where in men are dominant, powerful, and such!

yes, it is “part of our culture”. but don’t you think because of this so called “part of our culture”, women are always supress, ABUSED, and labeled aways as WEAKLINGS? – now thats the real UGLINESS!

yeah, we still do have some “conservative girls”. but until when? i mean. even our most “conservative lady” knew how to FLIRT! pamaypay? duh! its called flirting in her own way! haha

for me, courting a man and expressing your feelings for him does not mean you’re UGLY, CHEAP, and DESPERATE. it is called (as what maam said) the MODERN WOMEN!! where in they are capable of being independent and rise to this so called uhmm “man’s world?” this cheap, ugly, desperate women you call are the ones who excel in this man’s world. they are capable of expressing themselves and expressing their feeling to the world. these women are responsible. responsible for their actions! these women are SMART women! these women are the new breed of women that can fight for their right!

ps.
courting someone does not necessarily means that you should spend tons of money and buy gifts just to impress him/her. i mean, even just eating kwek2 and drinking buko juice at sidewalks with sincerity love, and devotion can make her sweep away! char!

8. michael piquiro - September 25, 2008

Basing on the said issue,for me there’s nothing wrong if the women will court to men because all of us are given the rights to express ourselves.And if we base also to what religion said ,there’s nothing wrong also because it doesn’t disobey to the ten commandments. It will only depend on how aggressive are the women to court men.And if we base to our culture of course it seems to be immoral, but we all know that culture is changing.Why not we’re going to change it? Since also in this modern times we are more intelligent than to our ancestors,so we are more rational than them.And women also many years ago are different comparing to our generation this day. So it must imply different environment .We can change this practice if we want, unless we go beyond the limit that said to us by our religion.That is why I therefore agree that women can court to men.

9. ian niel o. enghog - September 25, 2008

Truly today, what a man doing can be done too by woman… But with regards to the issue of “women courting men”, i don’t have any problem with this. in the sense that women has the right too to express their feelings, what is really inside their heart. tao lang din sila.. Of course, i know that it is impossible but it is up to the woman if she has really that face to do it, being raised in a conservative culture.. may mga instance kasi na hindi namin napapnsin yong mga kiligs ng girls kasi iba din yong tipo namin. mas mainam din yong manliligaw din sila sa nagugustuhan nila at least ma feel din nila kung paano ma hurt kapag di sasagutin ng nililigawan.. akala nila madali lang ang manligaw..

10. Justine Dangcalan - September 26, 2008

for me it is not proper to do such thing like that for a girl. its better to be courted than to court to someone. though we are in the new generation, for me it is very inapropriate.
we all have the right to court. but for a girl to do that it, we must be ready for the judgement and criticism.

11. Rhoda kristine taunan - September 26, 2008

for me it is relly ok for a girl to court a guy, we are now in the new generation and women now adays can compete with a man even in courting. Women now adays are even with men, cultures have changed in a wider perspective, so if before women are not allowed to court, today women are very capable of doing it. How could women be really even with men, if even in this simple situation, women are still not allowed to do it. But, be ready with criticisms and judgement from conservative people, they are still governed with old way culture.

12. JANE PALICTE - September 26, 2008

People grown in different cultures have different perspective on this issue. Me, grown in not so conservative family would agree on this of kind and style of courtship. For me, there’s nothing wrong in courting a man. Knowing that we are now in a generation of liberalization, I think it will not be new in a person who would hear this kind of issue and more surely the persons who will have a great reaction on this kind of issue are those people who were born in a “MARIA CLARA” generation.

I personally, and will not deny it, had experienced to court a man. For me, it will be a foolishness to wait for the guy to do the first move knowing that you have these intense feeling for him besides there’s nothing wrong in trying ryt? And sometimes not trying will just grow regrets in our mind .Granting the consequence the he will ignore me or what, I’m ready for that cause in every action there is always a reaction. But, doing this thing I think, It’s just an act of being true to your self and being true of what you feel. And I, personally say that I am true especially when it comes with my feeling and emotions.

Nevertheless, it’s not just the man who have the right to court, even us girls have also the right to court a man cause all of us have the equal rights.It is not all about being agressive and being liberated but more, it is being about true and just an act of enjoying our life that only once will be given to us. Also, we have the right to express what we feel and that is just one way of exercising our freedom, coz we are in a democratic country and obviously, freedom is at hand, it’s just a matter of choice on how we will enjoy our freedom, isn’t it?

13. Anne Danielle Alfelor - September 28, 2008

Courtship means the traditional dating period before engagement and marriage. It is universally practiced and generally, it is always the man who woos the woman. Much more in this country where our forefathers had instilled to us the values of respect to women, it is therefore encouraging for us to preserve this kind of practice.

I do not want to sound conservative. But in the world we are living, there are certain facts/practices that cannot and should not be tried to change, especially if it is for the good. Majority of women today are liberal and go getters who compete in a “man’s world” and succeed. However, these same women deep down inside still believed that it is the man who should do the courting, for it is in our culture and in the heart of every Filipina that such practice will show respect and affirmation of the importance of her existence.

Courtship of man to woman should not be associated as taboo by those who adhered extreme ideals of the modern world. Instead, it should be perceived as a good value bequeathed to us by our parents that we should not forget, no matter how modern our society would become.

For the women who think that it is okay to court a man, nobody is stopping you. But you have to consider several things. Random interviews with men show that:

1. Men are turned off if it is the girl who makes the first move in courting.
2. Some men out of respect will not turn down the courting girl instantly, but will try to avoid her consequently.
3. Some will just accept the girl but will not take her seriously.
4. Others will take advantage of her.

I agree that every person has the right to express what they feel and it is also every person’s right to choose who he or she wanted to be with. Luckily for men, they can court any woman whom they wanted to be their partner. Unfortunately, it is our culture which categorically restricts a woman to court a man. For a modern Filipina, it may sound as hypocrisy. However, as a saying goes:” There are many ways to kill a cat.”
A woman who wants to get the man she loves may do a different tactic. She should not court the man directly. Instead she should try some other means without antagonizing our judgmental society, like: being kind, caring, thoughtful and lovable to him. That way, the woman will not take the risk of being rejected or being criticized. She will subsequently gain the man’s attention, trust and respect and hopefully the man’s feeling would develop into love.

P.S

Courting and Flirting are two different conditions. Courting is the act of wooing and Flirting is to trifle with love. As one of the modern Filipinas, I would rather flirt than court a guy I like. In flirting (not necessarily with a pamaypay), I could express my stance to the guy indirectly without the risk of outright rejection. Hopefully if the guy will notice my gestures and eventually get interested in me, we will be friends and that’s where my care, kindness, thoughtfulness and being lovable will come in. If it is otherwise, what the heck, my dignity is still intact.

😉

14. Karla Mae Tabanao - September 29, 2008

What is the problem with women courting? The only difference we have with men are the private organs right? So what if i like a guy and that guy is too shy to court me, then i make the move first so that he notices me? So what if i go to his house, bring him flowers, or serenade him outside his window? What’s the big deal? These people who give too much care about a little social issue, i have big news for you: You’re not the one being courted so get off our backs. bleh. As long as it gives us the same satisfaction as one being courted, why not? There are many ways of expressing your feelings for the opposite sex and clearly it shouldn’t be restricted just because of gender. The world won’t end if i decide to court a guy. Well, the guy’s ego would probably die out but hey, i don’t care. As long as i have personal satisfaction, i’m gonna court him till his blood runs out!

15. Ana B. Jabagat - September 29, 2008

for me we are now in a new generations wether we like it or not there are some girls that they are the one who make moves to court a guy but maybe it has also a reason from guy that’s why she did it,maybe a guy is a shy type. I think there would be no bad interpretition if the girl shows her own interest to a man because each of us has the will to like with one another.

16. Joel M. Accion Jr. - September 29, 2008

According to Augustu Comte, society is evolving, so we cannot conclude that women do not have the right to court someone they love or like. Society evolves through the rise of new ideas and ideologies. Before, we could say that woman should not court the a boy because it is against with the expected norms of the society. However, with the rise of “Femenism” in the eighteen century, as a political theory the concept of power evolves. It means that women are empowered to exercise some of their rights in which before they were deprived of them. With this theory, the women were liberated from social inequalities because we can prove today that women are becoming equal with the men. The claim of the women is that, if man can do, why can’t they, especially in expressing their love to their love ones. So, with this changes, I coudl say that culture is also evolving and with that I am giving the women the right to express their special feelings with their love ones {opposite sex). Why should we deprive them from expressing their own feelings? does the society is just or correct in doing it? I don’t think so. So, I am really in favor that they can also do what they want to do because they are also human beings that have the freedom of expression. I just hope that they can also prove to the men they are courting that their feelings are true and without any bad intensions.

17. prescel busquit - September 29, 2008

Most people think that women are weak, they can’t do what men can do. But in fact nowadays, women can compete with men. They excel in different fields as what the article says. This only proves that women are strong and intelligent. So, those things should make women be proud of.
But unfortunately, there are still things that people expect women to do or to act. Specially the norms in the society. Like in a conservative culture, women are expected not to go home late at night and not to court men because that’s what their culture says.And there are lot of criticisms and judgments when women deviate those norms. Specially in courting men, they would ridicule women as cheap, flirt and etc.Well, for me there’s really nothing wrong about courting men because people have the right to express their feelings to someone. If you really loved someone why not tell that to him? who knows he feels the same way too and just too shy to tell it because he’s afraid to be rejected. There’s nothing wrong about courting men as long as you didn’t hurt people or you didin’t go beyond your limitations. But its just too sad to think that people would give negative judgment in courting men and we can’t also blame them because they’re nurtured in a conservative culture.
However, women are the one responsible for their actions. They will be the one to receive all the criticisms and ridicule from the society. And they should be the ready to receive that. And should accept the result of their actions. Therefore, let’s give women the right to express their feelings to their loved ones. So, women if you have the confidence to court men and you’re happy doing that, go on do what you want that could make you happy but of course always set your limitations and be responsible to your actions.

18. melchor valmoria - September 29, 2008

as human we are each invidual have a big right to express our feelings. in the previous years, the capacity and position of the women is not yet recognized of the crowd. now a days, many of the women are excelling their hidden talents in sports and academic category because they want to depict in our mind especially to the Filipino that women are not weak, not easily to give up and have enough courage prevail their rigths specifically in courting a guy.
however, that the most important is the women should know their boundaries so that if they woos a men they will not descriminated. and they should impart they feelings professionally.the most important is they are enjoying in doing this because this the things that creates them happy. so erased the old culture. it doesnt mean that if a women express her feelings or court to a men she is not conservative. no thats only a way to calm down herself if. much better if the women express her interest instead to keep it.

19. eara may gamba - September 30, 2008

courting initiated by woman nowadays is accepted by some while others strongly discriminate it. well for me, it is just a matter of guts, it all depends on the individuals personality and capacity to accept rejections and criticisms. if you have the strong personality then go on court a guy,do your best to win the guys heart however if you do not have the needed courage and determination then wait for a guy to court you.
one thing is for sure in this issue-our society is divided in their opinions but no matter how divided we are let us all put in mind that everyone is entittled to his/her own decisions. the bottomline is we ought to respect everyone’s actions so long as it does not do us any harm.

20. Catherine Jane Rosales - September 30, 2008

For me, it would really matter if the woman court a man. Why? Of course like me that who belong in a conservative culture and our orientation is somewhat limited. Culturally, the man is the only person who has the right to court a woman. Our culture doesnt welcome courtship that initiated by a woman. If the woman does it she will be labeled as flirt, cheap, and will be criticized by other people who were belong to a conservative culture. If they says that courting a man is just a way to express their feelings is not absolutely an excuse. You can express your feelings in a simple way such as just letting him feel that you care. Courting a guy you like is such a shameful thing. It seems that you were so desperate girl. Perhaps it is a result of being ignored by someone you like that is why you were traying to make the first move.

21. Michael Angelou H. Ponte - September 30, 2008

Courtship is a usual doing of a man.,!all i can say is that.,it also can be done by women why not.,!because we have the right to express our feelings to other.,!and there is no such thing that made a women be basted at all times because there are some man could appreciate of what woman feel on them.,!that is why the for me women has the to court a man.,!!

22. Rey Carl Lontayao - October 2, 2008

I belong to a Conservative culture; I still say go to moral tradition and cultures,
But you can’t hold back the signs of times, on my part (“As a Guy”), its ok; even in the future I’ll have a daughter and she’ll do that. As long as Modesty, Dignity and You love and respect your self as a woman theme is applied, why not? Every one has the right to express them selves norms may change and the time goes by. That’s reality!

^_^
/tc

23. cabilogan, krizza mae - October 3, 2008

for me it is not right that a woman will court a man it is not nice to see a woman courting a man.
we grew up in a country where we have the manner of proper courting and a man must court not a woman.
although a woman really love the man it is not right that she will be the one who will court.
the girl cant assure that the man really love her because if a am really love a woman he will find a way to express his feeling so that the woman will know about it.
if i would be in the mans place i will be discourage by this attitude.
if the girl insist that it is okey because she love the person it is not valid because in others eyes is it not right and somewhat shameful for girls side.
we have our culture and if we do things beyond or exceeds the limitation in our culture it is not right at all because we have things to be follow for us to be able to be in line with.
if they are both inlove but the boy cant express his feeling that it why the girl do the first move still it is not right.
M.U. or mutual understanding may be accepted but not in the sense that the girl will court the boy.
lastly it is the boys obligation to court not the girl, the girl must wait , if they are destined for each other no one can stop it.!

til here.!

godbless maam.!
amping.!


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